A Story of Forgiveness
Photo credit: Kelly Ann Shuler
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"I’m a survivor. My son didn’t survive--he was murdered November 19, 2014. That was the worst day of my life. The reason I say I’m a survivor is that I didn’t go into depression. I didn’t lose my mind. I had to think of my other children and my grandchildren, and I had to pull it together. It is only by the grace of God that I’m standing here today. I thank God for Victim Witness because I was clueless... I’m just so thankful. I was a single mother trying to do my best raising my kids so they would have a better life and I could support them and they wouldn’t have to turn to the streets to do anything. Then when I got that call that my son had been shot... I already knew in my heart because I’m a mom--he was gone. I knew it before I even got to the hospital. There’s a lot of days that I still cry and I will probably continue to cry until I go to my grave, but if I could encourage another family that has to go through this... you’ve got to forgive them in order to move forward, and I had to forgive them... I know I have to answer to God one day, so I had to find forgiveness, and I do forgive them. Life must go on. I’m thankful that you guys do this. Sometimes we do need that person to talk to… I didn’t have that outlet, and if you guys give people that outlet and someone to talk to, it just makes a difference. I appreciate everything you’ve done. I’m grateful and I’m thankful. You guys do an awesome job. Keep doing what you’re doing, because we families need this, we really do."
-- Michelle, mother of homicide victim |
A Story of Change
Photo credit: Kelly Ann Shuler
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"I was so glad for all the help that I got... [One of the PFA coordinators] said, “Well, think about it this way… you can either leave and have it be worse, be the same thing that you said it’s going to be every day, or we can help you.” I didn’t really believe it—I never thought anyone could get me away from him. It’s still hard, very hard… but I’m very glad for all of the help that I have gotten through the group. Sometimes the legal system sucks. I blamed myself many years, thinking it was me… the house wasn’t clean enough, I’m not doing enough laundry, I’m not doing enough cooking, I’m not taking care of enough things, even though I was going to work full time, taking the boys to practice, making dinner, doing laundry every single day to the point where I had a stroke. I just couldn’t believe having a stroke at 29. I didn’t have much faith in cops. Any interaction I had with them was because they got called to the house because he was hitting me and I was screaming, and they would leave. I don’t blame the cops for leaving, because I told them it was just me overreacting, it was always me… I always prayed and hoped that they would come back…. but I had to make that step. I went into the courthouse and made that step, two weeks later, and got my PFA… I’ve always had the girls [at Victim Witness] to lean on. I’m glad for the help that there is because it is really, really hard, and the last thing I want is for my boys to end up like him. I want them to respect women and be my little gentlemen. They helped me to rebuild my life again because all I left with was our clothes. They helped me to get my life back together."
--Michelle, domestic violence survivor |
A Story of Healing
Photo credit: Kelly Ann Shuler
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"My daughter was assaulted and left to die, but thank God, by the grace of God, she’s doing very well, and she’s dealing with lots of things… the Victim Witness Assistance Program helped us get through that, big time. We went to counseling… after what happened, I hadn’t talked to anyone about it. I’ve cried silently, but actually speaking to someone about what had happened to us, my daughter, our family… I didn’t know that I was going to still cry… I hate crying! That was a relief to share with Jessica and she was just so awesome… for her to be able to be so compassionate and to listen, to be there for me when I just need to let it go… I appreciate Victim Witness Assistance Program and all the other agencies that helped us along through the courts. Going through this devastating experience in dealing with a child that has been assaulted had broken our whole family. The agencies helped us in an awesome way. We have a service that if you need to speak out, if you need to talk about it, Victim Witness is the place to go. You guys helped us so much. I didn’t think I’d ever speak about the different things that I’ve been through, or my family… but I think it’s healing, little bits at a time."
--Andrea, mother of attempted homicide survivor |
A Story of Understanding
"I had been through about 9 years of the rollercoaster... I had loved this person for many, many years and I had hoped that our future would be together, and this straw broke that camel’s back pretty quickly. [The assault which nearly killed me] was one of those moments where you’re out of your body and you’re looking at it and you’re going, “What is this?” and that was, I think, the worst moment of my life. The police were fabulous with me, they really were. They asked, “Do you want us to call the victim advocate?” and I said, “Well, okay,” and [she] was there in the hospital and the policeman was there, and what I found out about [her] at that time—and it’s still true—is that it’s not just about that incident and that one night. It was about supporting me in lots of other ways, and my daughter, too, who had witnessed a lot of this through the years. [She] was there and helped me just to understand what was happening… I have never had any contact with the police except when some neighbor would call the police about he and I fighting or something he was doing, and so I didn’t understand any of it, I didn’t know what would happen next, I didn’t know what was possible for me. I felt like it was my fault: if I hadn’t opened the door, this wouldn’t have happened; if I hadn’t told him I don’t want to see you any more, this wouldn’t have happened; if I hadn’t, if I hadn’t… [she] helped me to understand that and she got me involved with or aware of the services from the Y, and PFA, and the services that victim advocates provide, counseling… she got me hooked up with the victim compensation program through the state and with their state advocacy. She really helped me to find other ways, people, places that could help me, and that meant a lot to me… it just meant the world to me. I just thank you all for everything you do because it really makes a big difference in people’s lives. I’m happy that you kept in touch with me and kept supporting me even when the court system didn’t work exactly like we thought it should have for me."
--Mary, domestic violence survivor
--Mary, domestic violence survivor
A Story of Giving Back
"My family and I started attending a church when I was around 13 or 14 and we were always doing something to help. My dad has played Bluegrass music since he was 9 and desperately wanted to start a gospel band. We met a woman at church that fit the bill for a great lead singer. She was married and had 2 little boys and we all became great friends. It was at a family camping trip while sitting at the fire that her husband waited until everyone was away to tell me that he was infatuated with me. I remember picking up a dictionary when I got home, as I could not fathom why a 35-year-old man would tell me such a thing."
"Feelings and thoughts started swirling around. This was wrong, but it felt good to have attention. Things escalated quite quickly. He began touching my legs and behind and quite unfortunately I shared my first kiss with this predator. I remember quite specifically him quoting this verse: Matthew 18:6 - But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Now looking back, I realize why he feared this verse so much."
"Feelings and thoughts started swirling around. This was wrong, but it felt good to have attention. Things escalated quite quickly. He began touching my legs and behind and quite unfortunately I shared my first kiss with this predator. I remember quite specifically him quoting this verse: Matthew 18:6 - But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Now looking back, I realize why he feared this verse so much."
Photo credit: Kelly Ann Shuler
"My parents eventually found out what happened, and we never saw them again. My parents decided it wasn’t worth the pain of going through the criminal justice process, and we moved forward, at least we thought. When I was 18, my 16 year old sister and I fought all the time, as most teenage sisters do! We were having an argument and she looked me straight in the eyes and told me she had something to tell me. I can’t express it, but I just knew what she was going to tell me. She was raped at age 13 by this same predator. My sister and I followed up and called the local police department where the incident occurred. We were afraid to tell our parents, as we weren’t sure how our dad would react. We received the response of an angry officer and eventually talked to a detective that told us that he would follow-up and schedule a time to meet with us. We never heard back and a year or more went by.
My sister eventually revealed what happened to our parents. It was reported to the Dauphin Co. DA’s office and the investigation and following criminal justice process began. We endured 2 trials that were both hung juries, or mistrials, meaning that the juries could not reach a joint decision. Our abuser received probation and walks the streets."
"I eventually grew tired of my job at an engineering firm I worked at for almost 10 years and felt that I need something more fulfilling. Something was placed on my heart to throw an event for the non-profit that helped my family through the criminal justice process, but unfortunately that didn’t happen."
"But God does do everything for a reason. I then began volunteering for the non-profit (Victim/Witness) on Mondays assisting domestic violence victims with obtaining PFA’s. A year or so later, I was hired full-time and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made."
"This quote has been my mission since I’ve been employed at Victim/Witness; Lysa TerKeurst – 'Only God can take my mess and Turn It Into A Message of Hope and Forgiveness.' Almost every day, I speak to someone that has been a victim of crime like myself and I have the opportunity to pass along God’s hope and strength."
--Jessica, survivor of child sexual assault and crime victim advocate
My sister eventually revealed what happened to our parents. It was reported to the Dauphin Co. DA’s office and the investigation and following criminal justice process began. We endured 2 trials that were both hung juries, or mistrials, meaning that the juries could not reach a joint decision. Our abuser received probation and walks the streets."
"I eventually grew tired of my job at an engineering firm I worked at for almost 10 years and felt that I need something more fulfilling. Something was placed on my heart to throw an event for the non-profit that helped my family through the criminal justice process, but unfortunately that didn’t happen."
"But God does do everything for a reason. I then began volunteering for the non-profit (Victim/Witness) on Mondays assisting domestic violence victims with obtaining PFA’s. A year or so later, I was hired full-time and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made."
"This quote has been my mission since I’ve been employed at Victim/Witness; Lysa TerKeurst – 'Only God can take my mess and Turn It Into A Message of Hope and Forgiveness.' Almost every day, I speak to someone that has been a victim of crime like myself and I have the opportunity to pass along God’s hope and strength."
--Jessica, survivor of child sexual assault and crime victim advocate